In recent times, a troubling habit has crept into the life of the Church priests attending funerals uninvited, and worse still, expecting gifts or money from grieving families. This practice is not only improper, but it also inflicts additional pain on families who are already overwhelmed with grief.
When a bereaved household is compelled to start looking for something to give an uninvited priest, the result is more sorrow than comfort. Instead of lifting burdens, such conduct adds to them. Pastoral ministry is meant to heal, strengthen, and encourage the weak not to exploit their vulnerability in moments of loss.
It is important to be clear: there is absolutely nothing wrong for a priest to attend the funeral of someone he knows personally whether as a parishioner, a friend, or a fellow Christian he has interacted with in life. In such cases, presence is an expression of solidarity, compassion, and love. But it is improper for a priest to attend the funeral of someone he does not know, merely because the deceased is prominent or influential in society. To go further and demand, or even silently expect, a purse or a gift is a shameful distortion of priestly ministry.
Even more disturbing is the practice of asking the bereaved family to pay off levies or outstanding dues owed by the deceased before the funeral can be concluded. Such behavior is insensitive and unchristian. A family in mourning should not be placed under pressure to settle financial obligations at the very moment they are laying their loved one to rest. Matters of dues and levies should be addressed pastorally and wisely, either long before or after the burial not during the sacred act of commending a soul to God.
The Church in the 21st century must rise above such practices. We live in an age where transparency, integrity, and accountability are demanded more than ever before. Clergy should be seen as bearers of hope and comfort, not as opportunists adding to the burden of families in mourning.
Therefore, let this truth be heard clearly: uninvited presence at funerals, financial demands from grieving families, or the insistence on clearing levies before a funeral is concluded are practices that must be discouraged. Our calling as priests is to serve with humility, to walk with people in their darkest moments, and to reflect the self-giving love of Christ who came not to be served, but to serve (Matthew 20:28).
